Dirty Food Secrets...

So dirty but so good...

I love dirty food secrets... Everyone’s got one lurking in the back of the cupboard or fridge. I’m talking about the kind of food you eat when you are on your own, when no one is watching or when you just need that little bit of comfort. I’ve known a lot of strange combinations over time that people think are perfectly normal until someone points out what they are doing.

Mine have changed over the years, when I was a child I used to love Cheese Spread and Jam Sandwiches dipped into a cold glass of milk. I think a lot of these food fetishes develop over the years mostly out of necessity but all reek of natural curiosity for tastes and flavour.  A quick straw poll on twitter revealed some brilliant results; Wholes tubes of Taramasalata, Corned beef, Kidney beans and Mayo sandwiches on wonder bread, Beans on Toast with Salad Cream, Fray Bentos and Branston... To name but a few.

Compared to some of the above my current dirty food secret feels quite tame but as an ex-chef I really should know better. I love Frankfurters, I can eat whole packets of them in a sitting. Cold straight from the fridge, micro-waved and dipped into ketchup or my absolute favourite and slightly more traditional. In soft white rolls with American Mild Mustard and Squeezy Cheese. I’d like to add that 8 frankfurters were consumed in the time it took me to take the photo’s for this.

So come on then, what’s your dirty food secret?

The Wapping Project - Wapping Wall E1W

I think I have found the perfect bolt hole for Brunch, we walked down to Wapping Food on Sunday and I have to say I’ve fallen in love with the place. Also home to the Wapping Project the building is a converted industrial pump house and is a mixed use arts and restaurant space.

The building is huge with amazing glass windows letting fantastic amounts of light into the dining area. Tables nestled happily between pumps and machinery...

The brunch menu is simple and has a good mix of healthy and indulgent options to please most appetites. I went the full English, my hangover was threatening to make an appearance and I thought the fried goodness would help me through to the other side.

It was really good and a really large portion as well so well worth the money. The Lady went for the Scrambled Eggs with Girolles and Truffle Oil on Toast and really enjoyed it. Our Producer friend chose a portion of the Waffles with Stewed Fruit and Chantilly Cream. All delicious, all good sized portions...

The building is a photographers wet dream, everywhere you look there is a photo waiting to be taken. Unsurprisingly due to the unusual size and nature of the venue it is also often home to some excellent modern art.

Currently hosting a major installation by Paul Bouden, the back room holds some fantastic examples his graphic design in a commission by the Wapping Project to celebrate the London Design Festival.

I definitely cannot wait to come back down here to try the proper menu. If you enjoy food and art this place comes highly recommended!

Brick Lane Bakery - Brick Lane E1

There’s something about a queue that makes me want to get involved... Just in case whatever is on the end of it is amazing and worth waiting for. Walking down Brick Lane at the weekend we got involved.

The Lady wanted a Salt Beef Bagel and we jumped into Brick Lane Bakery without giving it too much thought. If this many people are queuing it must be good surely?

Any way five minutes later and six pounds lighter in the wallet we left with our beef treats. What we’d been given though was a couple of bags of disappointment...

It was literally death by Salt Beef. Massive lumps of insipid beef overpowering the actually really rather good Bagel. No pickles, no love. Judging how busy it was though I'm hoping this was an off day.

Eid Mubarak - Proper Yorkshire Dahl Gosht

Curry is one those holy grail foods (apologies for mixing my religious metaphors) especially now at the end of Ramadan. I think it holds a very special place in the heart of this whole nation and not only for British Muslims up and down the country enjoying Eid-Al-Fitr.

I’ve eaten a lot over the years, tried hundreds of take-a ways, sat in strange dimly canteens at four in the morning finishing off the remains of a pickle tray and chatting shit with mates as they close up around us. I’ve eaten at the other end of the scale as well but in my heart you can’t beat a little family owned place where you bring your own beer...

I find it odd that more people don’t cook their own curry considering how popular it is. I think it’s the combination of spices that puts people off making them at home as initially it can be quite daunting.

It took me a while to get confident with curry but I managed to learn the basics from some very good chefs and some even better home cooks over the years. The professionals are great for teaching you the science but for feeding a family you can’t beat Mrs Hussain.

I’ve still got a lot of love for the North and for consistently good bhindi you can’t beat the West Riding of Yorkshire especially Bradford and Leeds.

This is my Curry honed and perfected after 10 years of living in Yorkshire. This recipe works really well with Chicken Thighs, Beef Shins, Goat, Aubergine or any combination of above you name it just throw it in.

Ingredients:
Dry Spices
2tbsp Coriander Powder
2tbsp Cumin Powder
1tbsp Ginger Powder
1tsbp Paprika
1tbsp Garam Masala
1tbsp Turmeric
10 Whole Black Peppercorn - Ground
4 Cloves - Ground
10 Dried Chillies – Ground, this is to taste though so use more or less as you see fit.

Fresh
800 Grams Lamb Chunks – Shoulder works well but is pricey so use what you prefer or can afford.
200 Grams Blanched Red Split Lentils – They lend an amazing earthy depth to the end dish.
2 Medium sized Onions – Sliced finely...
5 Cloves of Garlic – I prefer pureed but sliced or crushed is fine.
Small Bunch of Fresh Coriander - Chopped

Chopped Tomatoes – 1 tin
2tbsp Tomato Puree
300ml Beef/Lamb Stock or water if you want.

This is an astonishingly simple meal to cook once you get your head round the basics and gets easier with time. Just do a bit of mis-en-place before hand and have everything ready before you start cooking. Blanch your lentils before hand, cooked till just soft drained and put to one side.

Then get your spices together, grind anything that needs to be ground and heat a thick bottomed pan. Chop your onions and put them aside.

When you are ready to cook oil your meat not the pan and brown it, when browned remove from the pan and put in a container to keep any juices that escape. Now you can add two to three tbsp of oil to the pan and your onions.

Soften these and use them to mop up all the sticky meat juices then add all your spices and chillies. These need to be cooked off for 5 minutes or so on a gentle heat to release all the natural oils and flavour.

Throw in your garlic and stir in to allow your base to mix and come together nicely. Don’t add your garlic at the start as this cooks a lot quicker than the onions and can go bitter.

Return the meat to the pan and any juices as well. Add your chopped tomato and puree and stir, you should have something that looks like the beginning of time bubbling away and just take a moment to enjoy this gloopy volcanic quagmire.

I always let this cook away for a while as it is before adding the stock and lentils. Take the whole thing down to a gentle simmer and stir occasionally.

After an hour or so you should a gently reduced but deeply flavoured Curry waiting for you. The lamb will be tender and the Lentils will have disappeared and thickened the sauce deliciously, stir through your fresh Coriander.

Serve with boiled Rice, Naan or Chapattis this is a filling and really good way to break your fast or just have with a beer at the end of a long hard day! It's not the prettiest food I've ever cooked but it is bloody tasty and well worth the effort. Eid Mubarak everyone!

La-Li's Curry

I’ve always thought that Thai cooking is one of the most forgiving styles of cooking around. As long as you can get those Sweet, Spicy, Salty and Sour flavours going it isn’t so important that you follow the recipes blindly but just use them as a guide.

I first was shown how to make a Thai Curry by a semi-alcoholic Malaysian called La-Li, this recipe is kind of based on what he showed me but should only be seen as a rough guide.

La-Li had worked in Kitchens for years but came to England as a Pirate-horticulturist, having collected rare seeds to sell from his travels all over Asia. He settled down eventually and returned to working as a chef which is how I came to know him.

To me a good Thai style curry relies on its paste... Once you’ve got this right you’ll never make a bad curry again. You can make this in batches but to be honest it’s not that hard to make so I just do it as and when.

You’ll need a blender though, don’t be fucking around doing this in a Pestle and Mortar. Ingredients for the Paste for 2 people:

4 Chillies – Whole Red or Green, the Lady doesn’t like it too hot so adjust to taste.
3 Cloves of Garlic
3 Shallots – Don’t worry if you can’t get the Thai Shallots, I’ve never been able to tell the difference.
1 Stick of Lemon Grass
1 Thumb of Ginger
4 or 5 Kaffir Lime Leaves – Freeze Dried anything isn’t as good, but so much easier to get hold of.
6 – 10 Black Peppercorns
1tsp Coriander Seeds
1tsp Cumin Seeds
1/2tbsp of Palm Sugar
1/2tsp of Turmeric
1tsp of Salt
1tbsp of Oil – You can use Chilli Oil, Ground Nut Oil or Veg which ever you’ve got.

Add all of the ingredients to a blender and blend until extremely fine, then blend it for another 5 or 10 minutes. Rest your blender though don’t have it going for more than a couple of minutes otherwise you’ll just burn it out.

The next stage is so easy, just get your Jasmine rice on the boil before you start to put this together otherwise you’ll fuck the prawns...

Enough King Prawns for two – Shelled and De-veined
A couple of Handfuls of Blanched French Beans
Handful of Basil Leaves
1 Lemon grass stalk – Sliced into very fine rounds.
1 Tin of Coconut Milk
A Splash of Fish Sauce
A Bunch of fresh Coriander to serve on top as well as Garnish.
A splash of oil.

Get your pan on a high heat with a splash of oil, throw in Paste and allow to become aromatic for a second or two. Throw in the rest of ingredients – That’s your Prawns, Coconut Milk, Fish Sauce, Basil, Lemon Grass and allow to bubble and reduce for a couple of minutes.

Any longer and you’ll overdo it so be careful, if you want to reduce it down for longer hold off adding your Prawns at the start. I like a loose soupy broth that I can eat with a spoon making sure all my rice is covered so just reduce to how you like to eat really...

Smash it all in your mouth with a beer and this is perfect Monday night meal to ward away the working blues.

LED Festival - London Fields, Hackney

Rain, Fairground rides and crap food were not exactly what I was expecting when we trotted down to London Fields in Hackney to check out the LED Festival.

We started the day with some really good Vietnamese at Tres Viet and a few pints in the Dolphin before we headed down so we were in really good spirits and the down pour didn’t stop us having a good time.

The stages were well spread out but considering the number of them I was surprised by how large the site was. That or less people turned up than expected but it made getting to the bars really easy though.

A bit too easy in all honesty as despite dancing till the end of the night I can’t really say much about any of the acts. As we were chatting, having a good time and more importantly filling our boots with delicious Cider.

Drunkenly we ate distinctly average Cheeseburgers to keep us going through the day as I really didn't see much else on offer... We did get it together though for Leftfield, closing the night with a storming ambient set that got people smiling if not dancing much as the mud, cold and bar prices seemed to have sent a few people packing earlier in the day.

Goldfrapps' turn was less exciting. Playing mostly new songs that didn't get people going with only a couple of old favourites to keep her older fans happy.


As we were leaving sadly it felt reminiscent of a football match; we were herded together shortly out of the gates and not allowed to leave for a while by the Police.

LED definitely needs some work but shows promise, going up against Creamfields, Reading and Leeds is not going to get many through your doors and you'll always struggle with your line-up but we had a good time.

With no trouble to speak of the day went off without too much of a bang but a little bit of sunshine would have made this a scorcher!